He made it home!!

Mary would not allow her Dad to stay one more night in that place. She checked him out herself and took him home. I didn't feel like I could be too critical of the nursing home when I wrote my post yesterday because I didn't want to upset Family members. Merilyn ended up filing a grievance with the place so I feel I can now voice my opinion.

When we first arrived I was shocked. I couldn't believe how bad he looked. His face was sunken in and he looked so frail. Mary was in tears telling us how he was sitting in his wheelchair in the hallway all by himself. He was just staring at the floor and wearing filthy clothes.

The whole time we were there we never had contact with any of the nurses. Nobody offered to help him eat, nobody checked to see if he needed to use the restroom, nobody came by to see if he needed a drink, nobody offered to change his clothes. I know they knew we were there and that he would be taken care of but it would have been nice to know the help was there if we needed it.

When his lunch came we decided to take him to his room to eat. We sat there and visited with him while Mary spoon fed him. It took about an hour and a half for him to eat but you wouldn't believe the difference. He started getting some color back in his face and was much better about making eye contact. I can't help but think he was starving. Who knows who, if anyone was helping him on the days we were not there.

After lunch Mary and Tyler were able to get him to the restroom and then get his clothes changed. Mary brushed his hair and he thanked them both. He looked ten times better. You could tell he was feeling better just by his attitude. He started smiling. We tried to find his toothbrush but guess what, he didn't have one. Mary had to go ask for one. who knows how long it had been since he had them brushed....if at all. I can't even express the difference it made after he had clean teeth. He got his dignity back and you could tell.

The sad thing is, it wasn't just his hygiene that had us so upset. There is an alarm on his bed that will go off as soon as he gets off of it. Skialer (our niece) was sitting on the bed and when she stood up the alarm went off. We didn't know how to turn it off so we just waited for the nurse. Five minutes later we finally walked down to the nurses station to see what was going on. They came in and showed us how to turn it off and went back about their business. Twenty minutes later a nurse came into the room and asked us what we needed because his call light was on. Come to find out the call light comes on when the bed alarm goes off. Wow! It only took them twenty minutes to respond. Anything could happen in that amount of time. ANYTHING!

Every time there was an incident with Jim, Merilyn was supposed to be contacted. Apparently that didn't happen and come to find out he fell down every day. It really makes me wonder if any body was ever paying attention to him.

The person at the Nursing home that discharged him sent him home without all of his meds. He woke up around two in the morning and made for a miserable night for all involved.

While we were there we tried to remain positive. We didn't want to be too negative especially with the kids there. Shayna is way too intuitive, she knew it didn't feel right. She asked me if we could please leave and take Grandpa with us. She told me she was nervous and just wanted to leave. She said she didn't like the way the place made her feel. The longer we were there the calmer she became but she is pretty glad her Grandpa isn't there anymore.

It wasn't a good experience. It was heartbreaking to say the least. Through all of this I have learned what an amazing job Merilyn is doing with him. She is willing to sacrifice so much for him and even though he doesn't say it, it's obvious how much he appreciates her.


The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there
for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every
morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said,
'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not
be.